My Friend and Guide

by Joanne Bennardo

During the winter months leading into Lent, 2011, I'd read slowly the Diary of Saint Maria Faustina Kowalska. Her quiet voice drew me in, like an invitation to spend time with a new friend. Reminiscent of the Old Testament prophets, this young contemporary Polish nun had been chosen to hear the Word of God — personally. Is this not amazing?

Within a few days of finishing the Diary, I discovered firsthand St. Faustina's lesson "that love and sorrow go hand in hand" (881).

Except for a nagging cough, Ash Wednesday began like any other. I had plans to go to Mass, the grocery store, and the library, and then prepare a simple dinner, a tuna fish casserole. None of that happened. Instead, the cough worsened. By late afternoon, my husband, Ed, and I drove from my doctor's office to the regional hospital for additional testing. By nightfall, I was admitted. I needed emergency open-heart surgery. On Thursday, I was transferred by ambulance to the large metropolitan hospital that's better equipped for major heart surgery. I embraced our Lord's words to St. Faustina, "The graces of My mercy are drawn by means of one vessel only, and that is—trust" (1578).

I remember very little of the weeks that followed. Day drifted into night, night into day. I knew others were near, but I couldn't see or hear them clearly. An invisible veil separated me from the active world. I could not respond to the gentleness of the ambulance driver or the concerned intensive care nurse, but I was aware of caring around me, and sensed Ed was close. I felt Jesus' infinite mercy—the same sacrificed on the cross—manifest. St. Faustina reminded me of His words, "Do not fear; I am with you" (129).

Together with my dulled senses, my cognitive abilities weren't functioning either. I resolved to reason out my new situation later — and pray. I felt the chaplain uncurl my hands to anoint the palms, and then I sensed the warmth of the oil on my forehead. Knowing the rosary lay close at hand seemed enough. Amid the vague inklings, the only clear assurance I had was St. Faustina's affirmations of God's love and mercy. As I clung to our Lord's words to her that "mercy emerges from My very depths of tenderness," I knew God had sent her to journey with me (Diary, 699).

Frequently, I heard the loud roar of a helicopter's propeller. I can only assume I was in the hospital wing close to its landing pad. In my fogginess, the sound became like church bells calling me to an inner peace and calm. The summons held my concentration long enough to offer "my confusion to Our Savior's cross for the salvation of dying souls." Prompted by St. Faustina's plea that "dying souls are in such great need of prayer," I prayed for those victims on the helicopter and the personnel providing aid (Diary, 1015).

Three weeks into a hazy Lent, I had yet to receive the ashes of the season with its exhortation, "Turn away from sin and be faithful to the Gospel." I had not fasted or abstained. The Stations of the Cross were prayed without me. I was not to be found in line anticipating the sacraments of Reconciliation or Holy Eucharist. I had attended no Mass or retreat. I hadn't meditated on a homily or reading or even prayed a single Rosary. But upon my arrival home, I was reassured that God had gifted me with His holy saint, who shared in His Passion and stigmata. It was within this, our Lord's final sacrifice, that St. Faustina "saw a whole sea of mercy" (Diary, 948).

During the remaining weeks of Lent, her example comforted me as confusion mixed with fear and dread. She taught me how to surrender — first cautiously and then freely, all the while reminding, "Patience always leads to victory" (1514).

From the confusion of my vulnerability, God's graces led me to understand that no matter the outcome, within His mercy, all is well. Gradually, the pain lessened and my breathing quieted. It was with renewed enthusiasm that I reentered the outside world on Easter morning. The air was crisper, the church bells tolled sharper, the prayers of the Liturgy resonated more sweetly, and love for my dear God grew immensely. It would be months after my open-heart surgery until I'd learn that the surgeon had been delayed until 3 in the afternoon. Aware of the boundless graces that flow forth in that hour, I was deeply grateful. With heartfelt praise, I reveled in God's words, "As often as you hear the clock strike the third hour, immerse yourself completely in My mercy" (Diary, 1572).

Amen.

Joanne Bennardo writes from Ohio, where she extends God's blessings to all those, especially Ed, who prayed and cared for her. She and Ed count, among their own many blessings, their sons, daughters-in-law, and granddaughters.

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Johnmonday - Feb 10, 2012

God is great let us praise him,serve him and trust him

jim silvestri - Feb 13, 2012

Thank you Lord. Thank you Joanne for reminding me of God's limitless love for us all.

nessie nerissa - Feb 15, 2012

my name is faustine,a name my father gave to me,l am not surprised to read about SR.MARIAN FAUSTINA becos l seem to have the qualities she demonstrated in her love for JESUS CHRIST through her life,, thank GOD for her life.

Denise - Feb 19, 2012

When we recognize our suffering and the power behind it when united to the cross of Jesus as you embraced yours, we can only cry out for joy that souls are being saved. The Chaplet of Mercy, saves souls. Jesus, I Trust in You.

J - Feb 20, 2012

Praise Lord, you are worthy to be loved, you are worthy to be praised

A Follower - Apr 15, 2012

What a beautiful testimony. Blessed be God,

Gladys - Apr 25, 2012

Thankyou JESUS for her life i trust in you

Eloise - May 26, 2012

Joanne, I ask you and ours friends to pray for my mom and dad who both need surgery. My mom has a tumor behind her left eye and my dad has a spot on his lungs. I am reading St. Faustina's Diary very slowly myself. I am struggle with my faith from time to time. Please pray for me and my family. I know God is merciful and he has always been good to me, however I still struggle. God bless you and all who struggle to be close to our Lord Jesus Christ.

Eloise

Lola - May 31, 2012

Oh my Heavenly Father , I Thank You For Saving My Life ; Please Continue Saving The World By Coming into ALL Our HEARTS . I Love My Daughter So Much. Help us to continue In Your Words, ' LOVE ONE ANOTHER , AS I HAVE LOVED YOU."

Joette H - Jul 12, 2012

I remember as a child my mother doing the divine mercy the week after Easter. I never thought much about it until I read your story I had surgery over a year ago, a total gastrectomy and still suffer from anxiety and depression because I cannot do the things I use to. I now say the pray of the Divine Mercy and I ask for God to heal those that do not know prayer or have someone to turn to pray for them.I trust in the Lord to bring me peace of mind, give me strength and to help me heal so I can return to work so I can continue to have medical insurance. Lord I am not worthy to reeive you just say the word and I shall be healed.

Ed Gordon - Jul 21, 2012

It has probably been 2.5 years since I first read St. Faustina's diary. She stayed with me when I finished. I started reading it again only slowly this time. God has sent her to me and she will meet me, along with my Guardian Angel, when my soul passes to judgment. The Mystical Faith She has brought me cannot be explained. It has to be lived. "Jesus I trust in you."

Gloriani - Aug 28, 2012

Thank you for your kindness in sharing with us the presence of the holy spirit in your journey, I was looking for a prayer for my father in law because he is very sick and dying, and I was lead to your story,I shal pray for him and I ask you to keep him in your prayers, his name you know because God knows who he is.
I to have had a long journey with illness and feeling God's presence as I struggled thru my extrem pain,the suffering became a gift the moment I learned the true meaning of surrender, I prayed the our Father an infinite amount of times and as I did the pain seemed to subside,
I also felt the prayers of those who prayed for me and the priest who prayed for me and gave me my last rights is a faithful believer of Saint Faustina and I know her presence was also with us.
I can say with all the love and gratefulness I have in Our Lord Jesus Christ,only by surrendering do we find our way to Him, and knowing that our life is His.

Ruth - Nov 12, 2012

I pray for the sick every day, so know that prayers are always with you! I pray everyday for those as needs arise, and I add my childhood prayer at the end--"for those who need prayers, for everybody everywhere!"

Brian J - Dec 28, 2012

Thanks Joanne,

It was moving to hear your Story.I too have great support from Saying the Chaplet of Devine Mercy,I had fell out of Grace with an Addiction,pretty bad , I went to Church,I talked to my Priest who I never saw a great deal and told him of my problems. He mentioned that I should look for the Chaplet of Devine Mercy,I did not have a clue of what it was. My wife bought me a Rosary and I printed out the Chaplet, I now have found a Great Strength and Support in turning myself around and re-engaging with my Faith,I feel very fortunate to have found the Chaplet, it will now be a constant part of my Life,Everything is Possible with Prayer,Beleive it,It works.

Tendai - Jan 24, 2013

I am deeply humbled by this divine mercy chaplet and novena. My sister gave me this novena two years ago and I just filed it and forgot about it.Recently things in my life went bad and one day as I was searching for some documents it just fell in front of me and I picked it and began to research on it, and on Sr.Faustina. I I am truly happy to be brought back to the Catholic faith and to this message of Jesus' divine mercy for us sinners. Joanne has revealed to me the concept of trust, God is always on our side.
Joanne has highly inspired me.

salvatore - Apr 8, 2013

thank you for you experienc
i am currently went blind in my left eyeand much need in gods trust