Welcome to Part 3 of a new weekly series on the formation journey of Josh, a first-year novice at the Marian House of Studies in Washington, D.C. Watch for a new entry every Friday.
For a Marian seminarian, the novitiate is the most important stage of formation. This is the time when the novice learns what it is like to be a member of the Marian community. The novice follows the ancient monastic tradition of ora et labora — that is, pray and work. He will learn the dynamics of prayer and the contemplative life, study the history of religious life and mysticism in the Church, and learn to reflectively read and pray through the Scriptures. He will study the Marian Constitutions, charism, spirituality, apostolate, and the history of the Congregation. Most importantly, he will study the vows of chastity, poverty, and obedience in preparation for his temporary profession of these vows at the end of the novitiate year. In addition to prayer and study, the novice works at various manual tasks on a daily basis.
In the St. Faustina Center at the National Shrine of The Divine Mercy Shrine in Stockbridge, Massachusetts, 30 to 40 men were gathered, quietly attentive. Some were priests, others seminarians, and still others were novices and postulants, people in the early stages of formation for entering the Congregation of Marian Fathers of the Immaculate Conception. I was one of the retreatants, a novice just getting to know the Marians.
The week-long retreat included worship music provided by Jacob Wenzel, as well as talks by Fr. Mathias Thelen and Sarah Maczmarek of Encounter Ministries; and Dr. Mary Healy, chair of the Doctrinal Commission of CHARIS in Rome who serves on the Pontifical Biblical Commission.
The talks and all the meetings were thoroughly bathed in prayer to make God the focus and power behind everything. They proceeded in a logical order, starting with addressing the need for inner renewal, knowing oneself in love, seeing oneself as God sees us, as His beloved children.
The key point was made that we must not identify ourselves with our sins. There is great liberation as well as peace, joy, love and even power in knowing ourselves as God’s children and having complete confidence in Him, depending on Him completely. The retreatants were told that as God is their loving Father and He delights in opening His vast resources to His children as they confidently put their trust in Him.
God's beloved children
Another important point was that we needed to deeply understand themselves in God’s love, as God’s beloved children. They were encouraged to reenter painful, wounded memories, but prayerfully to invite Jesus to join them in these memories and imaginatively place him there with them, in their minds. Then, they were to ask Him if there were any lies they may have come to believe about themselves or others as a result of this wound, forgive whoever hurt them, and gently Jesus would take them through a healing process in His Presence in their imaginations.
The results of this encounter with Jesus could be profoundly healing and restorative. One person invited the Virgin Mary into two bitterly painful memories that made him weep. She appeared in his mind full of compassion, looking down at him tenderly, but then suddenly her expression changed—she grinned at the retreatant and confidently said, “I can make you smile again.”
In 1st century AD Palestine, the Holy Spirit moved through the “sound of her voice,” causing John the Baptist to leap for joy in Elizabeth’s womb.
Mary’s words in this retreatant’s heart and imagination were also powerful. Snared by her infectious smile, the retreatant couldn’t stop smiling himself and even laughed out loud as joy bubbled up from deep in his heart and overflowed. The memory of this powerful Marian encounter radically changed his experience of the previously bitterly painful memories.
One person invited the Virgin Mary into two bitterly painful memories that made him weep. She appeared in his mind full of compassion, looking down at him tenderly, but then suddenly her expression changed—she grinned at the retreatant and confidently said, “I can make you smile again.”
The impactful experiences with God that retreatants enjoyed during this retreat shifted some people’s perspectives. One retreatant who was initially skeptical of charismatic phenomenon developed enthusiasm for the retreat content instead, over the course of the days in retreat. He says that now, “I approach imaginative prayer more, with a little more confidence.”
Shift in thinking
Another retreatant said a major shift in thinking for him was realizing he should not seek strength for himself in carrying loads, in the sense of thinking it was ultimately his strength he relied on. Rather, he should be depending on God’s strength and courage. The shift in his thinking was toward dependence on God. When the retreatants prayed, calling on the Holy Spirit for a fresh outpouring upon them, he experienced an “immediate, strong feeling of peace,” and he felt joy that kept growing throughout the retreat.
Perhaps the most important point in the retreat, which in various ways was manifested strikingly to retreatants, was the real presence of God’s love for each of them. As one person said in awe, “It’s been a time of signs and wonders.” There was certainly a deep sense of intimacy for many as their inner prayer lives, uncertainties, concerns and wounds were taken gently into God’s presence, and received the responses and healing they needed.
It’s clear that graces flowing from the retreat are continuing to ripple among the retreatants.
For me, as a novice with the Marians, being able to share in this retreat was a deeply blessed beginning to this chapter of my experience of religious life, and I am very grateful.
Next entry: "Playing with Saints and Angels."
Previous entry
Is God calling you to be a priest? Or do you know someone who would make an ideal priest? Contact us!
{shopmercy-ad}