I was watching a DVD of the TV show "The X-Files," and one of the episodes was about all these roaches coming out of a drain. The moment I saw what it was about I fast-forwarded because to even look at these cockroaches makes me cringe, and my skin will crawl all day. I can take snakes, rats, even spiders, but not these nasty bugs, especially the palmetto ones that fly, ugh!
That same day, as I was on my way to my Holy Hour, I stopped by the mailbox to get my mail. I reached into the box and pulled out all the mail. While doing so, I noticed that sitting on top of the white letters was a giant cockroach. (It was as if it were all in slow motion). I automatically threw everything to the ground and heard the cockroach hit the concrete. It then scurried off. My heart was racing, and my skin was crawling, I absolutely hate those gross nasty things.
I carefully picked up my mail and threw it on the floor of my car. As I proceeded to the church, I turned on my St. Faustina Diary CD. Faustina was talking about how Jesus views our sins. She was saying that we cannot imagine how even the smallest sin feels to Him. We think they are no big deal, just small sins. Then, suddenly, in my mind, I was standing before the pure goodness and mercy of Him, and I was offering Him a white plate covered with the most horrible things (to me) on this earth: roaches! What an eye opener.
I tried to reverse the CD so I could listen to that passage again, but for some reason it would not play. By the time I got to the church, the image of roaches and sin and the suffering Jesus weighed heavy on my mind. As I parked the car and got out, in the parking place next to me was a huge squashed roach.
What did all this mean? I wanted to offer a plate of sweet smelling flowers to Him, not creepy roaches. So I can't take even the smallest sin as no big deal anymore; it makes my Lord feel awful. He is pure, and sin is totally contrary to His goodness.
Sorry, Jesus.
And from the Diary of Saint Faustina we read:
I apologized to the Lord, all the more ashamed because of the fact that in my conversation with Him after Holy Communion this very morning I had promised to be faithful to Him. Then I heard these words: "If it hadn't been for this small imperfection, you wouldn't have come to Me. Know that as often as you come to Me, humbling yourself and asking for My forgiveness, I pour out a super abundance of graces on your soul, and your imperfection vanishes before My eyes, and I see only your love and your humility. You lose nothing but gain much ..." (1293)
Saint Faustina also alludes to the Gospel of Luke (23:35-43) when Jesus, dying on the cross, promises heaven to the repentant criminal hanging beside Him.
See what grace and reflection made out of the greatest criminal. He who is dying has much love: "Remember me when You are in paradise." Heartfelt repentance immediately transforms the soul. The spiritual life is to be lived earnestly and sincerely. (Diary, 388)
Jay Hastings, of Bartlett, Tennessee, is the founder of a growing group of Divine Mercy devotees who ensure that the Chaplet of the Divine Mercy is being prayed every hour of the day. The group is called the St. Faustina Society/Shrine 24-hour Chaplet. Members now include more than 1,600 people from 42 countries who pick an hour each day in which to pray a chaplet. They pray for three things: the promotion of the Divine Mercy devotion; the sick and dying in the hour that they pray; people about to commit mortal sin; and also for those prayer requests sent to them from around the world. To join the St. Faustina Society 24-Hour Chaplet, contact Jay via e-mail, [email protected] or via phone, 901-438-7772.
